How did feeling unappreciated actually help to have your need for independence met?
Perhaps as a child you learned that feeling unappreciated was the only way to have independence need met. But now you are an adult and you get to choose how you meet your own needs. How can you meet independence need without experiencing the trigger?
Get creative.
Congratulations, you (compassionately) made your trigger your bitch.
You’ve developed new strategies for meeting your needs that center you as the hero of your life.